Full of Emotions

Wow, what a summer. You never know when you wake up what the day will be like. On this particular summer day we were going to have Aunt Jill and Ella's birthday party. Of course, we could not have the party on their real birthdays because of busy schedules. So we managed to plan the parties a week later. Mom was going to head to Walmart for the last minute party supplies while Samuel was down for his nap. Just as she left I got a call on my phone. She told me to wake Samuel up and come outside. I was not sure what I would find but I did as I was told. As we walked out the front door, I could barely see a tree that had fallen across the road. Now I am not talking about a twig or a branch I am talking about an entire tree. Seeing this made me have a wide range of emotions. I began to think of someone we could call to help us. There was no way that mom and I could cut and move the tree. Of course, we both thought man I sure wish Dad were here. Not only could he most defiantly move the tree but he would have fun doing it. Since we could not call Dad, we called my brother Cale. He came from work to help. He could not help us out without a tractor so he called a family friend to come help. Roger came but had to go get a tractor to pull the tree off. As he came back down the driveway I filled with emotions again. He was drive a big yellow backhoe just as my father had for years. I had to fight back tears. He of course was able to successfully move the tree. And you guessed right...Samuel wanted to ride. Roger was kind enough to ride Samuel back down the driveway. Again, I fought back tears....if only Dad were still here....Samuel could ride everyday.....

We made it to WalMart and back just in time for the party to begin.

As I was posting this today Samuel so sweetly looked at the picture and said "PaPa". Wow! For a split second I was ready to say "yes baby that is Papa" because it would have been a natural thing to see. And yes, Roger does look a bit like Papa. I again fought back the tears.

It has been almost a year and a half since Dad went to heaven. I think I have done well dealing with all the emotions that come with losing a loved one but somehow I am reminded daily of him and how much we need, love and miss him.

Yesterday, I read the book Heaven Is Real. It was a fantastic book about a four year old boy who went to heaven. I was reassured that I would see Dad again and that Dad would know Samuel and they too would meet in heaven. Man, I cant wait!